Home / 2009 / May (Page 2)

• Braun, Fielder, Hart…Casper?

  In Featured, MLB

  

  It’s bad enough for visiting teams facing the Milwaukee Brewers, especially with the likes of Ryan Braun, Corey Hart and Prince Fielder racking the middle of the order.

  If you’re unlucky enough to be one of the MLB teams to stay at the Pfister Hotel, you may have ghosts to worry about too.  The hotel is famous for guests experiencing paranormal activity–and the stories have made their way around major league clubhouses.

  The Florida Marlins have at least two pairs of pussies players sharing rooms because of their fear of ghosts.  Adrian Beltre, when he was with the Dodgers, once slept with a bat for protection, after having a brush with a ghost.

  Most players have fun with it–with Twins center fielder Carlos Gomez being a notable exception.  Gomez was spooked last year when his iPod kept vibrating after he’d turned it off several times. [Palm Beach Post, Fark]

   

• D-Bag of the Week for 17/05/09

  In D-bag of the Week

  

  He used to be known as Chad Johnson.

  Last August he wanted to be known as Chad Ocho Cinco…he even legally changed his name.

  The Bengals complied…the NFL, not so much.

  This year though, the NFL relented, allowing Chad Johnson to have his new, self-given name on the back of his jersey.

  One catch–it’s Ochocinco, not Ocho Cinco.

  Seems Mr. Ochocinco, now our latest Douchebag of the Week, filled out his forms incorrectly when changing his name last August.  Instead of Ocho Cinco, he put Ochocinco.

  According to AFC information manager ( I gotta get me that gig) Corry Rush, “It’s his legal name.”

  And if he ever gets traded to a team with the number 85 already taken, he can always legally change his name again.

  How about Chad El Mucho Douchebag.

   

• Najeh “Dookie” Davenport Channels His Inner T.J. Hooker

  In Featured, NFL

  Rodney Terrell Green learned the hard way–do not steal Dookie’s ride.

  At least we hope he learned that lesson.  Judging by this pic, he may have a hard time learning anything…

  

  Not pictured...intelligence.

  Tuesday afternoon, former NFL running back Najeh Davenport ran into a family member’s house to retrieve something, leaving his 1970 Chevrolet Impala idling out front.

  Green then allegedly helped himself to Davenport’s wheels.

  Dookie then channeled his inner T.J. Hooker and followed in hot pursuit.  Green struck four vehicles while being chased, before fleeing on foot towards a Foodland.

  Davenport pursued, eventually catching and subduing Green with the help of witnesses, until police arrived.

  Green will be charged with four counts of accidents involving damage to unattended vehicle or property, theft by unlawful taking or disposition and receiving stolen property.

  Unfortunately for Najeh Davenport, the front end of his sweet ride is totalled.

  

  Got to give props to Najeh for going after this punk.  Not bad for a guy who dropped a deuce in a woman’s laundry hamper 7 years ago, earning him the nickname “Dookie.” [The Pittsburgh Channel]

   

• Playground Brawl at Kaufmann Stadium

  In Featured, MLB

  

  When you think of the words brawl and playground, what image pops in your head?

  Exactly…a no-holds barred melee between out-of-control parents.

  What started out as a lovely Sunday afternoon at the Royals’ Kaufmann stadium ended with two arrests and a shitload of scared kids.

  Apparently one couple, while trying to take a picture of their child on the playground, got into an altercation with another couple after they walked in front of the camera.

  That…sounds…reasonable?

  The two couples argued and cursed at each other before throwing fists.  According to the police report, one woman was knocked to the ground, where the other woman began laying the boots.

  One witness summed up the absurd tragedy of the whole incident in one quote…

  “It was beyond a brawl. It started out as four people, and then as kids were getting toppled, those parents came in, the women were fighting. The saddest scene was a girl wrapped around mom’s waist and saying, ‘Please don’t,’ and she’s throwing punches.”

  That last line would be funny as hell if it weren’t so damn sad. [KBMC-TV via Fark]

   

• George Brett Still F’ing Loves the F’ing Royals (Video)

  In Featured, MLB

  

  Hall of Famer George Brett spent his entire career with the Kansas City Royals, so it’s no surprise he is a staunch defender of the organization, especially manager Trey Hillman.

  Brett, while playing in a charity golf tourney, was asked about the criticism Hillman and the Royals have been getting lately. They’ve lost 4 of 6 games, but are still 20-18, and just a game out of first in the AL Central.

  His response is chock full of expletives, and borders on the bat-shit insane.

  Here’s the video…

  
  As you can see, Brett wastes no time in turning the interview into an uncomfortable–but awesome–meltdown.

   

• T.O.’s First Day in Buffalo Indicative of City’s Need to be Relevant

  In Featured, NFL

  

  Pity the city of Buffalo.  For years this economically depressed city, butt of many jokes, has been desperate to become relevant on the national stage.

  But their desperation has reached new heights (or lows?) with the arrival of Terrell Owens.  Since signing the controversial wideout, Buffalo has been in the national spotlight, and they’re doing all they can to keep themselves there.

  It started Sunday night, when VH1 set up a reception at the Buffalo airport that was attended by fans, as well as the Buffalo Jills.  Kind of like a conquering hero returning…minus the hero and conquering part.  For those that don’t know, VH1 is filming a Terrell Owens reality show.

  Monday though was the kicker.  Owens joined teammates for the voluntary team minicamp, where he kept to himself, ran routes, then held an entertaining press conference.  All very low key, save for the VH1 film crew.

  Later in the day, the city of Buffalo, and Mayor Byron Brown, gave Owens a key to the city, on the steps of a Buffalo art gallery.  Wow…the guy’s been in town not even 24 hrs and he’s already given a key to the city?  Are the people of Buffalo that dumb to think that this guy is the savior of the franchise, or are they that desperate to stay in the national spotlight?

  FYI…All-time Buffalo QB Jim Kelly doesn’t even have a key to the city.  Suck on that for a minute.

  If all goes according to T.O. history, expect the city to be asking for their key back around Week 6.

   

• Bodybuilders Scatter When Doping Officials Show Up

  In Featured, More Sports

  

  Nothing causes oiled-up, muscular men to scatter like the sight of uninvited doping officials.

  And that’s just what happened at the recent Belgian Championships.  Doping official Hans Cooman and two of his colleagues showed up unexpectedly at the event, after past years had yielded numerous positive test results.

  The 20 chemically-enhanced bodybuilders, rather than face doping tests, grabbed their gear and left…which doesn’t make them look guilty at all.

  This comes on the heels of last years championship where 22 of 29 tests were positive (75%), either for steroids or refusing testing.

  A man who refused to give his name at the NABBA Belgium bodybuilding federation could not explain why the competitors had suddenly rushed off and would not discuss the matter.

  Ummm…

  Ummm…

  There’s a joke in here somewhere about stating the obvious, but if you can’t understand why a bunch of roided up bodybuilders scattered at the sight of doping officials, then you probably wouldn’t get the joke anyway…moron. [Yahoo]

   

• Ump Takes Out Rockies Reliever (Unintentionally)

  In Featured, MLB

  

  Colorado Rockies reliever Matt Daley has found his way to the 15 day disable list.

  Big friggin’ deal right?

  You’d think…except he made his way there thanks to umpire Bill Welke.

  Unintentionally of course (wink, wink).

  Seriously though, Daley was running to back up home plate on Pittsburgh’s Freddy Sanchez’s RBI double when Welke, unintentionally I might add, tossed the bat aside to clear space.

  The bat, in a truly fluky moment, landed directly under Daley’s left foot on his next stride, leaving the reliever with a sprained ankle.

  X-rays taken after the game were negative. [Associated Press]

   

• Steelers LB Harrison Declines White House Invite

  In Featured, NFL

  

  In the U.S., it’s a rite of passage for championship winning teams to be invited to the White House by the sitting president.

  The North Carolina Tar Heels had their visit recently, as did the Philadelphia Phillies after they won the World Series.

  And since they won the Super Bowl, the Pittsburgh Steelers are the latest championship team invited to the White House by President Obama.

  Except that Steelers LB (and Defensive Player of the Year) James Harrison gave the Pres the big F–K You!–only in a more polite way.

  “This is how I feel — if you want to see the Pittsburgh Steelers, invite us when we don’t win the Super Bowl. As far as I’m concerned, he [Obama] would’ve invited Arizona if they had won,” said Harrison.

  Huh?

  Well no shit James–that’s the point of getting invited to the White House, to fete a championship team.  It’s one of the perks of winning the Super Bowl.  I doubt Obama would have the time, or desire, to invite the other 31 teams in the league who didn’t win the Super Bowl.

  Hell, even George W. would’ve had a hard time fitting in all those visits, what with all his spare time in office. [MSNBC, PFT]

   

• Barkley Nails Spectator in the Neck With a Golf Ball

  In Featured, NBA

  

  We love Charles Barkley.

  He’s honest and funny on “Inside the NBA.”

  He drives really fast for good oral sex.

  And he may be one of the worst golfers ever.

  Case in point…his tee shot on the 6th hole at the Regions Charity Classic.

  Barkley’s horrific tee shot hit an unsuspecting gentleman by the name of Tommy Parrish.  At the time, Parrish was keeping an eye on his grandson, a smart move considering who was teeing off.

  Here’s the video…

  Parrish took it off the neck, but was fine, and even able to joke about the incident.

  Barkley too was classy–signing the ball for Parrish.

  Stick to hoops Sir Charles–before that awful golf swing kills someone.