D-Bag of the Week for 21/09/09

I know, I know…it’s been forever since I handed out the Douchebag of the Week award.  But if you haven’t figured out that I’m a lazy fucker by now, well then, allow me to introduce myself.

That being said, I’ve got to give out the award this week, only because it goes to someone truly deserving to be honored for his amazing level of doucheness.

Cubs outfielder Milton Bradley, he of the outbursts, tantrums, and downright idiotic behavioural issues, is the Douchebag of the Week, and the way he’s going, Bradley could be the first ever inductee into the Douchebag Hall of Fame (located in my basement, $5 for adults, $2 for kids.)

But let’s just focus on this season…it’s been a train wreck pretty well since day one, when the Cubs management, in an obvious crystal meth induced haze, signed the volatile Bradley to a 3-year, $30 million dollar contract last offseason.  For their reward, they got a .257 average, with 12 dingers and 40 RBIs.  Money well spent.

Add to that Bradley calling the Cubs fans racist, continuing battles with the media, and very public spats with manager Lou Piniella make signing Milton Bradley one of the worst free-agent moves ever.

But that’s all over now, as Cubs GM Jim Hendry pulled his head out of his ass long enough to suspend this piece of sh-t for the remainder of the season.  The straw that broke the camel’s back…recent comments Bradley made to the Daily Herald this past Saturday.

When asked if he enjoyed his first season in Chicago:

“Not really,” Bradley said. “It’s just not a positive environment. I need a stable, healthy, enjoyable environment. There’s too many people everywhere in your face with a microphone asking the same questions repeatedly. Everything is just bashing you. You got out there and you play harder than anybody on the field and never get credit for it. It’s just negativity.”

Stable and healthy go together with Milton Bradley like Kanye West and humility.

“And you understand why they haven’t won in 100 years here, because it’s negative. It’s what it is.  It’s everything.  It’s everybody.”

No douchebag…it’s you.

Now go f–k yourself.