Man Bites Through Neighbor’s Lips Over Wayward Football

Look, some people have a higher tolerance for kids than others.  And then there are those who just hate the little bastards altogether.

Daniel Allen of Clinton Township falls into the latter category.

Seems some kids, teens really, were playing some wholesome, American street football.  At some point the ball accidentally found its way to Allen’s yard.

The 44-year-old Allen snatched the ball and refused to return it to the kids.  When one of the kid’s parents went to ask Allen for the ball back, things got a tad bit ugly.

How ugly?  In a fit of rage, Allen bit through the man’s lips.

Seriously.

“The suspect went nose to nose with the victim and then bit him on the mouth,” said Detective Capt. Richard Maierle. “The bite went nearly all the way through his mouth.”

Allen is charged with assault with an attempt to maim (a felony), and aggravated assault (a misdemeanor).  The charges carry prison sentences of 10 years and a year respectively.

The victim was taken to hospital for treatment of deep lacerations on the upper and lower lips.

But it could’ve been worse…imagine if Allen were a midget. [Macomb Daily via Deadspin]