Michael Strahan Sees Things Differently Than You and Me (And Everyone Else)

Published on: 29th October, 2009 @ 10:52 pm by JeffG

It’s forever written in the NFL record books that Michael Strahan holds the single-season sack record with 22.5.

But lets get real here–the only reason Strahan got the record is because Brett Favre took a dive.

I know it…you know it.  Even my fucking half-retarded newspaper boy, who eats Vaseline on toast and dry humps cats, knows it.

And yet there’s Strahan, 8 goddamn years later, still claiming the sack was legit.

In his own, delusional words…

“Oh man, what year was that sack? See you don’t even remember the year – it was like 8, 9 years ago. And I got to be a very powerful man to make a guy from Mississippi lay down for me. Let me tell you that. So that is so old, and big game for him this week, and no, Brett Favre did not lay down to give me a sack, doesn’t happen in the NFL man.”

Really Michael?  That doesn’t happen in the NFL?  Then explain to me what in blue-fucking-blazes Brett Favre was doing running a naked bootleg to your side of the field, with his team up by nine with under a minute to play.

And let’s not forget how Favre went down like a whore on prom night.

Look Strahan, you’re a good guy.  I like you alongside Bradshaw, Long, Johnson and Menefee on Fox’s NFL pregame show…you’re charming and affable.  Your sitcom sucks monkey anus–but at least you get to hang with Apollo Creed.

But damn man, it’s time to drop the bullshit.  You’ve got the record, and nobody can take that from you.  But to keep saying that your final sack on Favre that season was legit is fucking ridiculous.  Either you’re mildly retarded as well, or you think we’re all as dumb as a bag of dirt.

And if it’s the latter, I will punch you in the throat you ignorant son-of-a-bitch.

Now, where’s that damn Scotch. [Sports Radio Interviews via PFT]

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