November 2009

Keith Ballard Tries Beheading His Own Goalie

Published on: 30th November, 2009

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Keith Ballard Tries Beheading His Own Goalie  | read this item

This is straight from the “you’re doing it wrong” files.  Panthers defenseman Keith Ballard, in a move borne of frustration, tried breaking his stick on the goalpost after the Atlanta Thrashers had scored a goal. One problem though–Tomas Vokoun’s head got in the way. Look, I used to play a little hockey back in the [...]

Ben Roethlisberger’s Brain Thinks Hines Ward Should STFU

Published on: 30th November, 2009

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Ben Roethlisberger's Brain Thinks Hines Ward Should STFU

Ben Roethlisberger, Hines Ward, Pittsburgh Steelers  | read this item

I don’t know what to make of Hines Ward.  Part of me thinks he’s a hard-nosed, gutsy football player, another part of me thinks he’s one of the dirtiest players in the league (see Rivers, Keith). After hearing what he said to Bob Costas re: Ben Roethlisberger’s concussion, part of me thinks he’s a fucktard [...]

Charlie Weis Done at Notre Dame

Published on: 30th November, 2009

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Charlie Weis Done at Notre Dame

Charlie Weis, Notre Dame  | read this item

At least that’s what the NY Daily News is reporting. It was only a matter of when, not if, and apparently when is today…although all signs pointed to Weis and his extra wide slacks being escorted out the door. First was the cancelled recruiting trip, then the story of Weis’ office being emptied.  Couple that [...]

Your Morning Wood for November 30th

Published on: 30th November, 2009

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Your Morning Wood for November 30th  | read this item

It’s not a pep rally until you’ve had your bonfire explode, injured a firefighter, and shook the whole town.  Oh you wacky teens. [Deadspin] Antoine Walker–decent player, lousy gambler and now, crappy slumlord. [The Big Lead] Nets coach Lawrence Frank came up one loss short of getting his name in the record books.  Yay? [Can't [...]

D-Bag of the Week for 29/11/09

Published on: 30th November, 2009

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D-Bag of the Week for 29/11/09  | read this item

You gotta love college football.  Or not–what the hell do I care? But say you watch it, let me ask you a question–if you happened to see the UCLA/USC game this past Saturday, what did you think of the ending? Or more precisely, who was the bigger douchebag–Rick Neuheisel or Pete Carroll? Quick recap for [...]

BYU QB Max Hall Has Wee Bit of Trouble Articulating Thoughts on Utah

Published on: 29th November, 2009

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BYU QB Max Hall Has Wee Bit of Trouble Articulating Thoughts on Utah

Max Hall, BYU  | read this item

Wow, tell us how you really feel Max Hall.  Seriously, I haven’t heard that much venom thrown around since the time I watched a session of the Canadian Parliament. Good thing BYU won (26-23 in OT), otherwise Hall might really have been pissed. He needs a few more wives to calm him down.

Paul Pierce Not a Big Fan of Chris Bosh’s Junk

Published on: 28th November, 2009

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Paul Pierce Not a Big Fan of Chris Bosh's Junk

Paul Pierce, Boston Celtics  | read this item

To be fair to Pierce though, I’m sure not too many people are big fans of Bosh’s junk.  I like Bosh, but am indifferent on his ‘special area.’ But poor Bosh, he suffered a double indignity the other night, both at the hands of Pierce.  Not only did CB4 get posterized on this dunk, but [...]

New Details on Tiger Woods’ Car Accident Help Fill Gaping Holes

Published on: 28th November, 2009

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New Details on Tiger Woods' Car Accident Help Fill Gaping Holes

Tiger Woods, Elin Nordegren  | read this item

C’mon, after hearing the details surrounding Tiger Woods’ car accident, you had to know there was more to the story.  I mean really, there were more gaping holes in that story than an M. Knight Shyamalan piece o’ crap.  To recap for the 1% of you who don’t watch TV, read the newspaper, or use [...]

Josh McDaniels Just Wants to Win a Motherf–king Game!

Published on: 27th November, 2009

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Josh McDaniels Just Wants to Win a Motherf--king Game!

Josh McDaniels, Denver Broncos  | read this item

He sure does.  Don’t believe me–just watch the video. This is what happens when a fiery, excitable coach like Josh McDaniels gets mic’d up.  What I can’t understand is why the NFL Network came out of commercial and played this.  Not even a 7-second delay would’ve helped.   Heads are gonna roll for this screw-up. [...]

Dundee Fan’s Testicles No Match for Scorned Lover’s Hands

Published on: 26th November, 2009

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Dundee Fan's Testicles No Match for Scorned Lover's Hands  | read this item

I love my testicles…I really do.  That’s why stories like this scare the living shit out of me.  Seriously. Billy Duncan, 49-years-old, is a Dundee fan.  And luckily for him, his team won the Challenge Cup.  So Billy wanted to celebrate–which he did. Not-so-lucky for Billy, he lives with a psycho bitch named Helen Hodge. [...]

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