Those crazy Aussies…not only have they given us Foster’s lager, the didgeridoo and Yahoo Serious (look it up kiddies), thus making the world an infinitely more glorious place to live, they’ve gone and upped the ante once again.

Most soccer riots are standard, run-of-the-mill brawls involving a bunch of drunk fans, lots of fisticuffs, a few brass knuckles and, eventually, a major ass-whomping by cops.

But cops got a surprise when they got the call Sunday to break up a disturbance at a local football field on Groote Eylandt…only to find an all-out brawl of about 500 hooligans.

Many of whom were armed with axes and spears.

Let me repeat that…armed with fucking axes and fucking spears!

The cops immediately began shitting bricks, because nothing unites a mob like the presence of the police. Don’t believe me…go watch “West Side Story.”   And honestly, what are guns going to do against 500 anger-fuelled maniacs with axes and spears?

“As you can imagine, even when a number of police cars turn up, when you’ve got a crowd that’s potentially 500-strong, it’s difficult to take proactive action at the time.”

“That’s why we tend to respond to these kind of incidents by doing the follow-up investigation the next day and taking action against individuals we can identify later on.”

So I raise a pint of Foster’s to you, insane, spear-throwing Australian football fan–shine on you crazy wallaby-fucker.

[Sydney Morning Herald, Image]