Did You Hear the One About the Basketball Player, the Porn Star and the Musician?

Published on: 4th November, 2009 @ 11:00 pm by JeffG

I’m going to file this story under “so weird it must be true.”  Or something like that.  If I can believe that A-Rod has pictures of himself over his bed, depicted as a centaur, then I can buy this.

This comely young lass is Mary Carey, one-time California gubernatorial candidate, VH1 reality star, and porn actress.

Carey was in Sacramento to promote a whorehouse strip club, and while there did a radio interview with Carmichael Dave of KHTK.

She is, to say the least, loquacious.

But what the gang at Sports Radio Interviews were able to glean out of Carey’s ramblings were pure gold.

Let me just say this…it involves Carey, Dwight Howard, and that troll-like fellow from N’Sync, Chris Kirkpatrick.

Oh, and someone goes pantsless, and someone quotes some scriptures.

Confused?

Here’s what Miss Carey had to say…

“Yeah, Dwight and I met at LAX. I was like, you’re a basketball player, and he was like, I’ve seen you at Magic games, so he recognized me from games. I used to always get written up when I went to gamesfor causing distractions and stuff.”

See, all very innocent.  She’s a hoops fan, and Howard knows her from watching porn seeing her at Magic games.

“Dwight’s a cool guy. For a month, we like talked on the phone, and he was always trying to give me prayers to get me out of porn and give me Bible verses to read. So then, I was going to go visit him when I was in Orlando, but I went over to this other guy’s house instead, Chris Kirkpatrick from N’Sync.  And then Dwight started calling, and calling, and calling me, because he knew I was with Chris Kirkpatrick, so eventually at 3 in the morning, Chris was like don’t answer Dwight’s calls. I get a text from Dwight at 3 in the morning – I’m outside Chris’s house. I’m like oh my god, what do I do? I was like, I got Dwight here and I got Chris in the other room and I’m talking to them back and forth. So finally I had to just pull Dwight in the bathroom and tell him he needs to go home. I was like I’m really sorry, I really like you, but this isn’t the time or place. When I pull him in the bathroom, he pulls his pants down, I was like, whooa. Yeah, and so I ran and started screaming…Well if it wasn’t for the Chris thing at the time, I really liked Dwight and maybe I would have furthered this. But I was at the guy’s house I was dating so it was inappropriate. So he totally thought he totally offended me. So I saved – he and I used to talk on instant messenger, on AOL – so he was apologizing; sorry, that was out of character for me, blah blah blah. I saved all the instant messages and I’ve been putting them all in a book. So I’ve got a lot of evidence. I’ve got an evidence file.”

So let me get this straight…when Bible verses aren’t getting the girl you’re infatuated with out of the porn business, you try the old “showing your junk” trick.  Which I guess worked, since she fought her normal instinctive reaction and ran out of the room screaming (which is better than her laughing hysterically).

I for one am willing to give Dwight Howard the benefit of the doubt, and chalk it up to a big misunderstanding.  How?  I have no idea, but I’m sure Howard’s camp is cooking up something.

And i’d be remiss if I didn’t include this clip…

Sports Radio Interviews via Sports By Brooks.

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