The Olympic Torch relay is gonna be smack dab in the middle of a freakin’ country bear jamboroo!  Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Churchill, Manitoba. [Sports Rubbish]

Saudi Arabian soccer player scores the fastest goal in history.  Two seconds!  Know what–soccer still blows! [Sportress of Blogitude]

Seeing CC Sabathia’s gift to all his Yankees teammates, a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue, makes me wanna be a Yankee.  Or a rich drunk. [Sports Crackle Pop]

Got $49 million lying around.  Wanna buy Joe Montana’s California Palace?  It’s a better deal than John Voight’s LeBaron. [The Big Lead]

What’s better than one shot of cameltoe?  Nine shots of cameltoe!  Sweet Clemson cameltoe! [Deadspin]

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Hard to believe Sesame Street has been around 40 years.  Makes me feel old.  Very, very old.  God I need Scotch.  Sweet, sweet scotch.