For Once, It’s Not a Good Day to be Tiger Woods

I tried staying away from the whole Tiger Woods mess as best I could, and I think I did a pretty good job, save for one story and one hilarious Chinese CGI re-enactment.  But since I heard that today US Weekly would be dropping a voicemail from one Tiger Woods, to one alleged mistress, Jaimee Blue Sky Grubbs, I couldn’t hold back any longer.

Grubbs alleges that she and Tiger had 20 sexual encounters over a 31-month period.  She says she can back that up with voicemails and text messages.  US Weekly got their hands on one of the voicemail messages and released it to the world…

To me, that is Tiger. Or an incredible impersonation of Tiger. Anyone seen Rich Little lately? Seriously though, this is got to be a huge embarrassment for Woods. No doubt that his team is working on what kind of “spin” to put on this.

The only thing more embarrassing Tiger Woods has ever done–this awful American Express commercial.

Getting back to Woods and the PR disaster this whole thing has become. What now for Woods and wife Elin Nordegren. Does Tiger come clean, then get some counselling to help save his marriage (think of the children–no, I’m serious, they need to consider those two wee ones they have)? Is it celebrity divorce time? Is Woods going to deny, deny, deny?

And if this day weren’t a complete nightmare for golf’s golden boy, Rachel Uchitel, the original, alleged Tiger mistress, is back in the picture. Despite vehemently denying any romantic involvement with Woods, US Weekly has obtained an email that is allegedly from him to Uchitel.

“I had a dream we were married and I was leading the tournament,” he allegedly wrote. “I came home, excited to see you, and there you were in the bedroom getting f – - -ed by Derek and David. Some part of me thinks you would like that. But now I can’t get back to sleep. My body is tired, but mind awake. Need an Ambien.”

Who are Derek and David?  Jeter and Beckham?  Boreanaz and Duchovny?  Was it a wet dream?  Oh look, I’ve gone too far.

Whatever the outcome, Tiger’s shining star is going to be majorly tarnished after this.

[US Weekly via The Big Lead]