Minor League Ballclub All Set to Unleash “The Beast”

Published on: 11th December, 2009 @ 6:48 pm by JeffG

If you’re thinking that “The Beast” is some young, good-looking, five-tool rookie first baseman, you’re way, way off.  But after you find out what “The Beast” is, you’ll understand why it’s so aptly named.

For most sports teams, concessions make up a huge part of their profits.  Minor league teams pride themselves on their food offerings–probably because, unlike their professional counterparts, they’re more affordable, and at times, as colorful as any of their game-night promotions.

CNBC has an annual tradition of naming the “Minor League Concession Item of the Year,” and up until this year, the Gateway Grizzlies of the Frontier League had been the title-holders.  They were unseated by the West Michigan Whitecaps Fifth Third Burger.  This monstrosity of a burger consisted of 1.6lbs of beef, with salsa, melted cheese, chili and Fritos.  For all you calorie counters out their, downing one of these badboys was worth 4800 calories, or the equivalent of eating Gary Coleman.

But the Grizzlies are working on their comeback item for next year.  And this thing borders on the unholy.  Their newest concoction, “The Beast,” is comprised of 15 (yes, 15) black angus burgers, all stacked on top of each other.  Each one of the burgers is covered with bacon (mmm…bacon) and pepper jack cheese.  The mountain of meat is held together by a giant skewer, and comes in at a disturbing 8,550 calories and 690 grams of fat.

In the name of common sense, the team is advising customers to eat this gastronomical delight not by yourself, but as a group.  Because if you can conquer “The Beast” on your own, you are probably closer to death than most of us.

“Oh, you’d have to have a lot of talent to take this whole thing down,” said Jeff O’Neill, the team’s media relations director. “We’re shying away from the eating contest thing.”

But if you find yourself at a Grizzlies game, don’t think you can walk up to the concession stand and just buy “The Beast.”  First of all, you have to order it a day in advance, and secondly, it’ll cost you $120.  Stomach pump and angioplasty are extra.

Bon appetit. [CNBC]

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