Oh yeah, I like this idea. I like this idea a lot.
The crappy Sacramento Kings have had problems bringing in the fans to Arco Arena. So their genius marketing team has come up with a fantabulous idea to sell out at least one game.
Dollar Beer Night.
The Dec. 16th game against the Washington Wizards will feature $1 beers (or soda or water). Unfortunately for all you drunks out there, the buck-a-beer will only be served until halftime.
Did I mention that the game is going to be nationally televised on ESPN.
I may just watch this game to see what shit goes down–because shit WILL go down. I guarantee it. Cheap beer, rowdy fans and crappy basketball is a perfect recipe for a good old-fashioned shitstorm.
How do I know this? Take a trip with me my children, back to the 1970’s, back to a place called Municipal Stadium, back to an ill-fated promotion known as Ten Cent Beer Night.
Just over 25,000 fans showed up to see the Texas Rangers play the Cleveland Indians. But who am I kidding–they came for the ten cent beer. Duh! Up to this game, the Indians had only been averaging about 8000 fans a game.
Let’s rundown what happened during the game…
- a woman ran out to the on-deck circle and flashed her boobs
- a naked dude sprinted out to second base
- a father and son ran out to the outfield and mooned the bleachers
- a riot broke out, with many of the fans armed with knives, chains and pieces of the stadium. Players from both teams had to arm themselves with bats, and order wasn’t restored until a riot squad from the Cleveland Police Department arrived.
But hey, I’m sure the Kings management has taken all this into consideration, right? Maybe? Goddamn I hope so.
What the hell do I know–maybe in spite of the cheap beer, the crowd will be well behaved. I mean, not every Kings fan is an angry, out-of-control, alcoholic bastard like me. Are they?