By the looks of it, Ryan Miller of the Buffalo Sabres is going to be the starting goaltender for the U.S. Olympic team in next month’s Winter Games in Vancouver. A high honor, to say the least, and much deserved.
Like many Americans, Miller is patriotic. Like, cover your car in U.S. flag decals, wear a god-awful Stars and Stripes belt-buckle, get a tattoo of a bald eagle on your ass patriotic. While I’ve never seen Miller’s car, wardrobe or ass, I can honestly say that his level of patriotism is on par with the other examples, especially after having seen his new goalie mask, designed for the Olympics.
The mask was created at a small equipment company in Port Huron, Michigan, by the name of Warwick Mask & Equipment Inc., and the design itself was based on Miller’s own ideas. Some 40-50 hours later, and you get this…
So yeah, the roided-up, ready to beat your ass with the torch version of Uncle Sam came straight from Miller’s slightly warped mind. The USA tattoo on Uncle Sam’s arm was a nice touch too.
I wasn’t able to glean what was on the other side of the mask, but I’ll just assume that it’s a bald eagle with an UZI in each talon, carrying the bloody corpse of Osama Bin Laden, while shitting red, white and blue “Freedom Turds.”
Yeah, that seems about right.
