I said Great American hero, not the Greatest American Hero, so don’t expect “William Katt Night” at the old ballpark anytime soon. Not that that wouldn’t be the Greatest American Promotion Ever (see what I did there).
No, the Lehigh Valley IronPigs are honoring a Washington state man by the name of Jeff Olson. Believe me, you’ll either shit yourself in disbelief or vomit in disgust when I tell you what he did to deserve to be feted by the minor league IronPigs.
See, Jeff Olson and his wife Heidi own a farm. A farm with pigs on it, including one piglet named Pig Pig. Well, one day, through no fault of his own, Pig Pig was crushed after his mother accidentally sat on him.
So Olson did what any hero would do–he saved Pig Pig by performing life-saving CPR…including mouth-to-snout resuscitation.
Think about that. Mouth-to-snout. It’s as gross as it sounds. The only way that could have been worse would be if pigs breathed through their ass.
Of course, with Jeff’s mouth-to-snout resuscitation, Pig Pig eventually came around and started breathing on his own. Which is even more amazing, since Pig Pig is the only remaining piglet from his litter. Oh, and Pig Pig’s mother died as well, leaving poor little Pig Pig to nurse from the Olson’s dog. Yes, Pig Pig is a survivor.
For his heroic effort, Olson will receive an IronPigs sweatshirt, a bottle of Listerine, a tube of ChapStick, and free IronPigs tix for him and his wife whenever they are in the area.
I think the commenter know as “WHOQUEEFED?” summed up what we are all feeling after reading this heartwarming story…
I applaud you sir for saving the pig… This is what America is all about!
God bless you, Jeff Olson!