Sorry Big Ben, but the Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium will no longer be in need of your services. Your replacement? NHL Hall of Famer Mario Lemieux.
The zoo has decided to swap Roethlisberger’s name and likeness with Super Mario’s for a display that compared elephant’s heights with other creatures. Zoo spokesperson Tracy Gray said felt the change was necessary after some patrons complained about Big Ben’s image being used in the display, what with all of Roethlisberger’s recent controversy.
The zoo’s choice of Mario Lemieux as Big Ben’s replacement was a simple one–besides being a well-known Pittsburgh athlete, Lemieux, like Roethlisberger, is 6-foot5. However, the Penguins owner seems to be free of the nasty habit of exposing his penis to 20-year-old college students, unlike the Steelers quarterback.
This may be the final blow to Roethlisberger’s fractured image–it’s pretty bad when the local zoo thinks your likeness is bad for business. On the plus side, if the zoo ever has a display comparing animal’s that have gray dongs, well, I’m sure they’ll be calling Big Ben.