If you’re trying to figure out just who that guy is in the picture, his name is Brian Seiken, a lifelong Knicks fan. That gastronomical nightmare he’s eating is the Carnegie Deli’s “LeBron MVP” sandwich–a foot high concoction made of turkey, pastrami, corned beef, brisket, American cheese, lettuce and tomato, all stacked on rye bread, that weighs in at a whopping 5-pounds.
Goddamn, I haven’t seen that much meat in one place at one time since I saw my first John Holmes porno.
The deli has been selling this $19.95 mess o’ meat for six weeks now, and Seiken is the first person with the gastrointestinal fortitude to finish the whole thing. Nearly 200 previous customers tried their hand at eating an entire “LeBron MVP” but none prevailed.
Seiken’s secret? Don’t eat breakfast. He didn’t, and it took him all of 36 minutes and 33 seconds to polish that badboy off.
For some reason Seiken tackled this monstrosity as some sort of plan on luring the year’s biggest free agent to play for his beloved Knicks. Will it work? Unlikely. Was it impressive? Yes, but what’s even more impressive is that Seiken didn’t go into cardiac arrest after ingesting all that artery-clogging goodness. Because nothing shows you’re a true fan better than putting your health at risk to woo a marquee free agent.
Having been the only person ever to devour the gargantuan sandwich, Seiken was rewarded with a second “LeBron MVP,” this time for free, an offer which he politely declined, probably because he was still full from the first one. Either that, or he was worried his insurance wouldn’t cover death by hoagie.