Kevin Kolb is One Bad Mother…Shut Your Mouth!

Eagles QB Kevin Kolb has been handed the reins of the the Philly offense, now that longtime fixture Donovan McNabb has been sent packing off to the Redskins.  You’d think that would be a tremendous amount of pressure on young Kolb, especially with the quick-tempered Eagles fanbase ready to jump down the kid’s throat the minute he screws up.

But Kevin Kolb is cut from a different cloth, and that’s an understatement.

Kolb is what we city slickers like to call an “outdoorsy type” of person, and by “outdoorsy” I mean he is quite the avid hunter.  How avid?  Let me put it this way–the man likes to hunt wild hogs, armed with only three things.

His dogs, a 12-inch Bowie knife, and his ginormous balls of steel.

Need more proof that Kolb is 100% pure American badass?  Listen to this retelling of a 17-year-old Kevin and his girlfriend (who later became his wife) and their encounter with a rattlesnake.

Via NFL Fanhouse

The quarterback slipped off one of his boots – this is why real outdoorsmen wear them – attached it to the end of a stick that he picked from the ground and dangled it in front of the hissing western diamondback. The rattlesnake struck the boot. The boot danced and the snake struck again. And again. Nearly 10 times the snake attacked the boot. Until, finally, the snake recoiled and lay lifeless on the ground. What do you know? It worked. That show on the Discovery Channel reported that a rattlesnake will play dead when prey doesn’t fall victim to its spectacular bite.

Continue…

So the quarterback reached down and plucked the rattlesnake by its neck and held it out. With his other hand, he retrieved the .38 caliber handgun fastened to his hip and fired a round into the rattler’s head. He then used his favorite pocketknife to cut off the rattles. Thirteen of them!

FYI…the snake ended up being around 5-feet in length, which makes this story that much more impressive.

There you have it Eagles fans–while the jury may be out on Kolb’s quarterback prowess, the mere fact that he took down a rattlesnake with a boot, his wits, and yes, a handgun, should put to rest any questions about your new QB’s toughness.

Take pleasure in knowing you have the NFL’s version of Chuck Norris lining up under center this year.

 

About the author: Jeff G.

 

Jeff Greenwell is the writer/editor of Last Angry Fan. Jeff has been known to rock a Speedo while belting out Robert Goulet tunes from his front porch, and in his spare time he enjoys capturing and training feral goats to be his minions. Also known to dig a nice brick of cheese from time to time.

Website: http://lastangryfan.com

 

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    • Sailorman

      It takes a real badass to kill an animal with a pistol. more impressive if he grabbed the snake with his bare hands.

  • BleedingGreen

    since Reid is going to throw the ball 68% of the time, Kolb is a QB that can actually put a pass where it belongs-great weapons he has, and although the 60+ yard passes will drop off, the YAC are going to skyrocket…shouldn’t miss Donovan much after week 4, GO BIRDS

  • http://auctions4sports.com Ed

    Save this story as a template… ’cause that’s exactly what Kevin’s gonna do to dem CowGirls

  • casey

    If he were taking over a horse ranch then this skill would be impressive but seeing as to how he is taking over as the starting QB with little experience under his belt this skill isnt going to help him replace McNabb. I give it a few weeks into the season before Eagle fans start booing as he begins falling on his face and loosing his job to Vick.

  • XmaximuS

    So what. You cant take dogs and a hunting knife with you on the field. I really
    think this year is basically going to be
    a learning curve at best……

    • shot1

      Couldn’t agree nore X. Eagles fans are BRUTAL, and they will miss Donovan.
      However Kevin apparently has the skills…but is the thick skin availaible?

  • hp

    I agree.
    Kolb is the real deal.
    Besides those superb performances last year when he jumped right in and played like a neo-Joe you know who, he really is the Houston Cougar superstar that will finally shine as promised.

 

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