Listen up people–now I’m sure you’re all aware of the 5-second rule. Just to clarify, the food has to have been dropped in a relatively clean and safe area, free of any visible debris. Bathrooms (public or otherwise), supermarket floors and restaurants are definite no-no’s.
Same goes for stadium floors.
And if I have to tell you that the food has to have been yours in the first place, then you’ve got bigger problems than figuring out when to apply the 5-second rule.
Someone better explain the concept of the 5-second rule to this big fella then.
Utley fan here looks like he’s packed away a few meals in his day, but he’ll probably tell you his weight problem is either a) mostly water, or b) a glandular problem.
After watching this video, I’ll go for c) from his seafood diet…when he sees food, he eats it (classic jokes are like fine wine–they just get better with age).
Video after the jump. If you’re eating popcorn, nachos, a hot dog, or really, anything tasty at the moment, you might want to wait an hour before watching…
There’s one of two possible explanations here…
- the Big Man didn’t realize where the food he was scarfing down was coming from, which makes that kid a) the envy of all his friends, b) the owner of a gigantic set of steel balls, and c) a colossal prick.
- Mr. XXL Utley Shirt has an eating problem, whereby he doesn’t care where the food comes from, so long as it ends up in his mouth before making it’s way into his gastrointestinal tract. So obsessed with gorging himself that the rotund fella has either trained his kid to gather food from wherever he can, including stealing it if need be, like some modern day Oliver Twist, or he’s paying some random child a few bucks to hunt down any piece of scrap he can stuff into his pie-hole.
Whatever the case may be, that is the most disgusting display I’ve ever seen at a ballpark, outside of a Mets/Cubs game.
/c’mon, you knew there would be a Mets and/or Cubs dig in there somewhere
//but a double-burner is especially sweet. *high-fives self*
