OSU Lineman Has Fondness for Trespassing, Nudity, High Voltage

Oregon State offensive lineman Tyler Thomas, pictured here, sure knows how to party hard.  There’s no business in his mullet…it’s party in the front AND the back.

Around 5:00 a.m. Sunday morning a woman called police reporting a naked man in the upstairs office of her residence.  That naked man was Thomas, who had snuck into the house and disrobed for reasons unknown.  If I had to guess, I’d say Thomas did all this just to give his junk a light cleaning in the woman’s sink, because it’s not like we all haven’t done a little freshening up south of the equator in a stranger’s bathroom before, haven’t we?

The cops eventually got to the woman’s apartment and found Thomas there, naked as the day he was born, and to no one’s surprise, drunk as a Frenchman.

I’ll let the Gazette Times take over from here, as only they can.

Bake him away toys…

According to information from the Corvallis Police Department, at about 4:51 a.m., police were called to 519 N.W. 14th Street after a 32-year-old woman reported there was a naked man in the upstairs office of her residence.

When officers arrived, they ordered him to get on the ground several times, but he refused.

Then Thomas, who had reportedly been drinking, got into a “three-point stance” and lunged at the officers, who Tased him.

Wise move by the cops–when a 6’3″ 290-pound drunk and sweaty behemoth takes a lunge at you, unless you’re wearing a full-body condom, there’s no way you want to touch that guy.  Better just to hit him with some high voltage, preferably in the groinal region…if such a thing exists.

Thomas was arrested on charges of first-degree criminal trespass, second-degree criminal mischief and resisting arrest, and was kicked off the football team as a result of his drunken shenanigans.

[H/T to Deadspin]