Shaq’s New Nickname in Boston is…Tanya?

Short answer…no.

Long answer…still no, but Shaq has been known, on occasion, to go by the handle “Tanya,” and the reasoning behind it is very cool.

Shaquille O’Neal is taking his act to Beantown, his 19th season in the NBA, and Vanity Fair caught up with The Big Aristotle for an interview.

As usual, Shaq was his unapologetic, honest, engaging self.  The entire interview is a good read…which brings me back to “Tanya.”

If you don’t know, one of Shaq’s interests, outside of basketball, is police work, which came as a bit of a surprise to the Vanity Fair interviewer (do your homework…geez).  Little did he know that Shaq’s been a reserve officer in L.A., Miami and Phoenix, was bestowed with an honorary U.S. Deputy Marshal title, and has been a detective for Internet crimes against children for the last seven years.

And by detective, Shaq means that his job is to play a little girl–hence the alter ego, “Tanya.”

I play a little girl on the Internet. So whatever name I’m going by, that will probably be my catchphrase. If I’m Tanya, then it’ll be something like, “Tanya says hello.” And they’ll be like, “Tanya who?” And I’ll say, “You don’t know no Tanya, huh? I’m Tanya. Let’s go.” And that’s when the cuffs get slapped on you.

Following O’Neal on Twitter like I do,  I can totally understand why the Internet cops chose him to act as a preteen girl–to catch an online predator, you have to be able to speak the “language” of kids on the Internet, and Shaq can do that in spades.

Plus, it’s got to be pretty f–king cool when the perp you just busted realizes that “Tanya” was not an 11-year-old girl, but rather a 7-footer with a shaved head and a terrible free throw.

I have to say, busting filthy Internet predators is an extremely cool thing for Shaq Diesel to do, and more than makes up for starring in that abortion of a movie, “Kazaam.”

So consider yourselves warned, Boston scumbags–Shaq is coming for you.

Shaquille O’Neal Has a Message For Boston: “Tanya Says Hello!” [Vanity Fair]