Your Morning Wood for September 9th (NFL Kickoff Edition)

Welcome friends to Your Morning Wood, LAF’s well-intentioned, but poorly executed, daily link dump.  Come for the links, stay for the potato salad.  Best on the Internet.

On a side note–anyone else as pumped as me that the NFL season starts tonight?  Vikings/Saints at 8:30 p.m. from The Superdome.  Settle down monkeys, you still got almost 11 hours until kickoff.

This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my Thursday…

Who knew that Mike Tyson and I both share the identical biggest regret in our lives…we never got to smoke weed with Tupac. [Out of Bounds]

The Lingerie Football League is coming to MTV2.  Curse my Canadian parents for making me live up here, where MTV2 doesn’t exist. [JOCKpost]

New Orleans schools are letting the little brats out early today so everyone can enjoy the pregame festivities. [Ted Williams Head]

Chick uses a taser on the infield during a NASCAR race.  God bless you rednecks…don’t you ever change. [Total Pro Sports]

Chick gets shot with a watermelon to the face.  Beats dirty balls to the chin any day. [Bob's Blitz]

Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart got busted for a shitload of drugs, as well as burglary.  See, this is why wrestlers from the 80′s have been, and always will be, the greatest. [With Leather]

Colin Cowherd wants hate mail.  Something tells me he already gets plenty of it. [The Big Lead]

Ron Artest is Speed Racer—literally.  Bonus: Weed Against Speed is quite the lyricist, could be the next Weird Al Yankovic…or something. [Sportress of Blogitude]

Chris Berman rocking a mustache still doesn’t make him any more likable. [Larry Brown Sports]