Home / 2011 / January

• VIDEO: Darnell Dockett Laughing at Streakers an Apt Metaphor for the Pro Bowl Itself

  In Featured, NFL

  

  Or something like that.  This headline would make a lot more sense if I knew the meaning of the word metaphor…or apt…or the.

  So they played the Pro Bowl today, and if you were able to sit through that three hour dreckfest, then more power to you.  I suffered through a three-hour colonoscopy with some polyp removal, and I still think I made out better than anyone who watched the game.

  About the only thing worthwhile that took place in Hawaii was Darnell Dockett’s uproarious reaction to a couple of streakers that made their way onto the field.  Dockett found the whole thing to be an hilarious, roll-on-the-ground laughfest.  Not sure if he was just laughing at the streakers, or the farce that is the NFL Pro Bowl. Read more ›

   

• VIDEO: Oh Look, Another Impressive Blake Griffin Two-Handed Slam

  In Featured, NBA

  Actually, Griffin’s two-handed finish isn’t the impressive part of this play.  No, it’s the 50-foot alley from teammate Randy Foye before Griffin’s thunderous oop that’s praiseworthy.

  But Blake Griffin’s involved, and he’s the greatest thing the NBA has seen since Kim Kardashian’s ass started showing up to Nets games.  Besides, who do you think is going to draw more readers in—Randy Foye or Blake Griffin?  No offense to Foye, but the answer is pretty freaking obvious.

  Anywho, here’s the tremendous alley-oop Foye and Griffin pulled off against the Bobcats, in regular time, slo-mo, and super slo-mo.

  Read more ›

   

• Kevin Garnett’s Bloodied Head Requires a Freakishly Large Band-Aid

  In Featured, NBA

  

  Kevin Garnett took a Pau Gasol elbow to the noggin that cut the Celtics star pretty good.  Well, good enough that KG had to leave the game for a little medical attention.  Apparently the Celtics medical staff were all out of regular sized bandages, opting to go with whatever was available from the local veterinary clinic. Read more ›

   

• VIDEO: Erin Andrews’ Hotness Validated by This Chubby Kansas Fan

  In Featured, NCAABK

  Sure that fat kid in a Kansas jersey isn’t telling us something we don’t already know—that ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews is hot—but the fact that he does it in spitting range of the lovely Ms. Andrews, on national television no less, makes it the stuff of legend.

  Our chubby friend’s moment of glory came during the Kansas-Kansas State game, won easily by the Jayhawks 90-66.  Andrews was rambling on about something Bill Self said, or did, or was going to do (really, who pays attention to what EA’s saying during her sideline reports anyway), when our portly hero jumped up, mugged for the camera, and gained instant Internet fame.

  Video follows the jump… Read more ›

   

• VIDEO: Knicks vs. Hawks Features Some Williams on Williams Violence

  In Featured, NBA

  You know what’s great about fights in the NBA, as compared to NFL or NHL tussles?  Zero protective equipment…none, nada, bupkis, zilch.  It’s just two guys in tank tops and shorts throwing fists, like a couple of sweaty, high-priced warriors.

  The Friday night tilt between the Knicks and Hawks ended with a pretty good scrap between a pair of guys named Williams—Shawne for New York, and Marvin for Atlanta.  With only 47 seconds left in the game, the two got into it as they ran upcourt, jawing back and forth, until Marvin shoved Shawne in the back.

  It escalated quickly after that.

  Lots of fists flying but nobody really connected.  Well, not solidly anyway.  Still, as far as basketball fights go, it was a pretty good one, with no real, clear-cut winner, except people like me who enjoy watching millionaires try to knock each other’s blocks off.

  Video of the fisticuffs follows the jump… Read more ›

   

• Kevin Garnett Hand-Checks Channing Frye’s Junk, Gets Tossed

  In Featured, NBA

  The Phoenix Suns hosted the Boston Celtics out in the Arizona desert, and thanks to a tired Celtics team’s poor shooting, came away with the win 88-71, ending the Suns 3-game losing streak.

  As if things weren’t going bad enough for the Celts, Kevin Garnett got tossed with about 4 minutes left to play after going out to challenge a Channing Frye trey and fouling him in a most unkind way…with a hard hand-check to the nuts. Read more ›

   

• VIDEO: Suns’ Dancer Pulls a Twofer, Dunks the Ball and Himself in One Shot

  In Featured, NBA

  The Phoenix Suns have a dance squad called the Sol Patrol, led by their famous Simian mascot The Gorilla.  The crew of dynamic, energetic kids dance, jump, dunk and electrify to keep the Phoenix crowd entertained.

  Basically they’re glorified time killers—high energy time killers, but time killers nonetheless.  But they seem to keep the fans interested, so good on ‘em.

  The Sol Patrol was doing their thang, as the kids say these days, during Wednesday’s game against the Hornets, by bringing out the trampoline for some high-flying dunks.  Things were going swimmingly until one dancer overshot his mark and ended up following the ball through the hoop.

  Pretty sure it wasn’t part of the act.

  Video follows the jump (skip to the 1:45 mark to see the double dunk, as it were)… Read more ›

   

• Tracy Morgan on Sarah Palin: “She’s Good Masturbation Material”

  In Featured, NBA

  Tracy Morgan stopped by to chit-chat with Charles Barkley, Kenny Smith and Ernie Johnson during TNT’s “Inside the NBA” prior to the Knicks-Heat game, and the 30 Rock funnyman did not disappoint, much to the chagrin of Johnson, and most assuredly the TNT producers.

  Seems Morgan lacks that internal filter most of us have, especially when he’s live in front of a camera, because he let the boys know what he thought of Sarah Palin.  According to Morgan, she’s “good masturbation material.” Read more ›

   

• This Super Bowl Wager is More Artsy, Less Fartsy

  In Featured, NFL

  Now this is what you call a real  Super Bowl bet, because we’re talking some big names here people—Pierre Renoir and Gustave Caillebotte.

  What, you’ve never heard of these guys?  You disgust me you uncultured troglodytic swine.

  To help broaden your horizons, Pierre-Auguste Renoir was a French impressionist painter who really enjoyed painting chubby naked women, while Gustave Caillebotte was also an impressionist and Frenchman who delved in photography as an artform. (once again Wikipedia is my friend) Read more ›

   

• Firing Off Your Backyard Cannon Not the Best Way to Celebrate a Steelers Win

  In Featured, NFL

  Before I get started I have to ask—who has a cannon in their backyard?  I mean an actual working cannon in your backyard?  Unless you’re using it to scare away giant predatory birds the size of a Cessna, then you have no business owning a cannon, period.

  Try telling that to Bobby Wayne Blanton, a North Carolina man who thought it’d be a wise idea to fire off his homemade cannon following the Pittsburgh Steelers victory over the New York Jets in last Sunday’s AFC title game. Read more ›