Vancouver’s infamous Green Men were doing their thing during last night’s Canucks-Sharks playoff game, trying their best to get any San Jose player who found themselves in the penalty box off their game with their wacky, green spandex wearing hijinks. Their antics usually don’t do anything but provide entertainment for the fans seated in their section, and I doubt they have any real effect on the opposing team.
This didn’t stop Sharks announcers Drew Remenda and Randy Hahn from going off on the Green Men, calling them 40-year-old virgin gamers who live in their mom’s basement and collect potholders and snow globes in between games of Call of Duty. Probably a fair assessment by Remenda and Hahn, except for one thing—based on their firm, taut bodies, I’d venture to say these guys are more like 30-year-old virgins. 40-year-old guys normally can’t squeeze themselves into a green spandex bodysuit without a few unwanted bulges and ripples popping up in unflattering areas.