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• D-Bag of the Week for 14/06/09

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  News headlines from the NBA Championship…

  1. Lakers beat Magic in 5 games for their 15th NBA championship.

  2. Kobe Bryant gets his first title sans Shaq.

  3. Phil Jackson gets his 10th ring, one for each finger, and one more than the legendary Red Auerbach.

  4. L.A. Lakers fans are rioting douchebags.

  Why in the hell do some fans (not all) feel the need to celebrate their team’s championships with destruction, mayhem and douchebaggery.

  Congrats Lakers fans, you’re all the Douchebag of the Week.  Now go clean up your friggin’ mess.

   

• D-Bag of the Week for 07/06/09

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  I’m a little late I know, but to be honest, I had a hard time figuring out who was gonna be the Douchebag of the Week.

  I had considered LeBron James again, but that story is getting old.

  Hell, it was so bad I almost turned to the world of tennis (gag) and that jackass who “attacked” Roger Federer with a Barcelona flag.

  But then a former NFL and CFL player showed up, opened his big mouth, and “Boom Goes the Dynamite!”…we have a winner.

  Andre “Bad Moon” Rison, the former wide receiver for the Falcons, Packers, Chiefs and Toronto Argonauts (to name a few) was recently interviewed by the Atlanta Journal Constitution.  Most of what he had to say was not-so-newsworthy…until he proclaimed himself the greatest wide receiver–ever.

  When asked about his legacy, Rison had this to say…

  “Best receiver to ever play the game. I can’t show my highlights because I don’t own NFL Films, but all my coaches in college, in high school, in junior college, they all told me I could be the best. But they must’ve lied because that title was already given to Jerry Rice. Just because you have stats doesn’t mean you’re the best. Can’t nobody tell me that Andre Reed isn’t better than Jerry Rice. I’m seeing cornerbacks on the 75th anniversary team that I used to demolish. But I’m coming out with my own hall of fame.”

  Ummm Andre, buddy, Jerry Rice is considered the best because, well, he was the best.  And while there are those who will argue that there were better (see Hutson, Don), I doubt very much that anyone is making the case for you.

  But hey, at least Rison is one of the few people who can say they won both a Super Bowl and Grey Cup in their career.

  And now he can say he also won the Douchebag of the Week.

   

• D-Bag of the Week for 31/05/09

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  There were a few more choices than normal for the Douchebag of the Week this week.  I could’ve gone with the umpire who threw out both managers and both catchers in the Red Sox/Twins game the other night.  Or Sergio Garcia and his broken heart.

  Hell, I could’ve chosen LeBron James for his post game sulking after getting bounced from the NBA playoffs.

  But the person I chose this week is way, way worse than those guys combined–and I have Twitter to thank for pointing out this asshole.

  Specifically, Jimmy Traina, writer of Hot Clicks on Sports Illustrated’s website, posted a tweet about today’s episode of ESPN’s “Outside the Lines.”  So I checked it out.

  So, without further adieu, I hereby decree Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall our latest Douchebag of the Week–and if he keeps going the way he is, we may have to rename the award in his honor.

  Before reading further, head over to ESPN and watch the video yourself…but come back.  Please.  I’ll buy you a kitten.

  Now that you’re back…I was lying about the kitten.

  Marshall was a fourth round draft pick, 119th overall by the Denver Broncos.

  Even before being drafted, D-Bag Marshall had his run-ins with the law while attending the University of Central Florida.  Twice he was arrested and charged with numerous misdemeanors, but both times the charges were dismissed.

  It was shortly after the draft that the numerous “incidents” between Brandon and his girlfriend Rasheedah Watley started to occur–and the list of events is a long and sordid one.

  The police were called 11 times to respond to confrontations between Marshall and Watley.  The latter told “OTL” that Marshall had, on various occasions, assaulted her and choked her.  Many of the police reports state the same, as well as times that Watley struck Marshall.

  Twice in this time period, from June 17, 2006 to May 5, 2008, Watley obtained a temporary protective order against Marshall.

  Add in a DUI, a confrontation with his father (complete with shots fired), and the fact that an argument Marshall and his cousin got into at the “Shelter,” a nightclub in Denver, that ultimately led to the death of Broncos cornerback Darrent Williams (this according to former Broncos receiver Javon Walker, the person in who’s lap Williams died) made my decision for Douchebag of the Week a helluva lot easier.

  Let’s just hope that commisioner Roger Goodell watched this episode of “Outside the Lines” too, and that he does something about this scumbag–and soon.  [ESPN]

   

• D-Bag of the Week for 24/05/09

  In D-bag of the Week

  

  It’s OK for athletes to be controversial–to a point.

  But there’s a line that everyone can cross, where they go from controversial to plain stupid.

  Thankfully Jeremy Roenick crossed that line to become Douchebag of the Week.

  Roenick, a forward for the San Jose Sharks (the poster boy for playoff underachievers in the NHL), was recently spouting off on a Chicago radio show about the Detroit Red Wings/ Chicago Blackhawks playoff series.

  In particular, Roenick made baseless claims that Detroit coach Mike Babcock doesn’t like 112 year old defenseman Chris Chelios, going so far as to say that Babcock has a grudge against American players.  Roenick also said that Babcock has said some rather unsavory comments to Chelios.

  Turns out it was all a lie.

  Chelios has come out publicly to say he has never had a problem with Babcock in the four years he’s played under him…and Babcock has reiterated his respect for Chelios.

  Hell, the man has 2 kids who are American born–another reason that Roenick’s words pissed him off.

  Said Babcock, “Yeah, it bothered me, because it’s a blatant lie.”

  Maybe now Roenick will think twice before opening up his toothless yap again.

   

• D-Bag of the Week for 17/05/09

  In D-bag of the Week

  

  He used to be known as Chad Johnson.

  Last August he wanted to be known as Chad Ocho Cinco…he even legally changed his name.

  The Bengals complied…the NFL, not so much.

  This year though, the NFL relented, allowing Chad Johnson to have his new, self-given name on the back of his jersey.

  One catch–it’s Ochocinco, not Ocho Cinco.

  Seems Mr. Ochocinco, now our latest Douchebag of the Week, filled out his forms incorrectly when changing his name last August.  Instead of Ocho Cinco, he put Ochocinco.

  According to AFC information manager ( I gotta get me that gig) Corry Rush, “It’s his legal name.”

  And if he ever gets traded to a team with the number 85 already taken, he can always legally change his name again.

  How about Chad El Mucho Douchebag.

   

• D-Bag of the Week for 10/05/2009

  In D-bag of the Week

  

  Our selection for Douchebag of the Week for the week of May 10th is dedicated to all those hockey fans located in Southern Ontario, actively rooting for Jim Balsillie’s bid to bring the Phoenix Coyotes to Hamilton, Ontario.

  Unfortunately one gargantuan douchebag stands in his way– Gary Bettman, our latest Douchebag of the Week.

  Mr. Bettman, the rat-faced commissioner of the National Hockey League, has made it abundantly clear that he hates Canada.  OK, maybe hate is too strong a word.  But it seems he’s strongly opposed to Mr. Balsillie, the man who gave the world the Blackberry, and his plans for world domination, um, bringing the NHL to Southern Ontario.

  Balsillie has previously tried to purchase the Nashville Predators, and the Pittsburgh Penguins, but was railroaded both times, allegedly by Bettman.  This time Balsillie is trying to purchase the cash-strapped, economically unviable Phoenix Coyotes and move them from the desert to Hamilton.  The matter is currently in bankruptcy court, with Bettman claiming that the current owner of the Coyotes, Jerry Moyes, had no right to file for bankruptcy, since the NHL had taken over control of the Phoenix team.

  Bettman’s plan is to keep the Coyotes in Phoenix, with the attitude that when problems arise, the NHL doesn’t run out on the fans.  He believes the financial woes of the team can be fixed.  Starting by selling the team to Chicago White Sox/Bulls owner Jerry Reinsdorf.

  Funny, where was this attitude when the Quebec Nordiques or Winnipeg Jets were in dire straits.  Oh that’s right…packed up and moved to the States.  Bettman’s agenda has been to promote and sell the game to U.S. markets– and he’s failed miserably.

  The NHL, with some consistency I might add, has had horrible TV ratings, often lagging behind professional bowling.

  He’s put teams in markets that never should’ve had an NHL team in the first place– the money problems in Phoenix are only the beginning.  Look for Atlanta, Tampa Bay, and Columbus to be in the same boat as Phoenix in the not-so-distant future.  And look for Bettman to stick to his misguided plan again.

  Granted, Jim Balsillie is a bit of a ballbuster, not going through proper channels in his bid for an NHL team.  But give the man some credit–he’s a passionate hockey fan, with boatloads of cash, looking to bring pro hockey to a market where it would thrive.  And don’t listen to all the bullshit about a Hamilton team cutting into the profits of Toronto and Buffalo–propaganda, plain and simple.  There’s enough hockey starved fans for all 3 teams.  Balsillie knows it, the fans know it, and I’d bet the other owners know it.

  Unfortunately Bettman the scumbag will always be ready to give Balsillie (and Southern Ontario hockey fans) the old “f–k you” treatment.

   

• D-Bag of the Week for 03/05/2009

  In D-bag of the Week

  OK, I’ll admit it, this is taking the easy way out.  Alex Rodriguez’s level of douchebagedness is reaching levels only seen by 3 other men.

  Barry Bonds, Adolf Hitler and Rush Limbaugh.

  However, instead of droning on and on about the shit A-Fraud’s done to win himself this prestigious honor, let’s just break it down into a list.  Everyone loves lists…especially me, since I’m friggin’ lazy.

  Without further adieu…7 Reasons Why A-Rod is the Douchebag of the Week.

  7.  Allegedly tipped off opposing hitters about pitch type and location in hopes they would return the favor.

  6.  Allegedly disliked at Hooter’s, due to his habit of tipping waitresses the minimum 15%.

  5.  Nicknamed (allegedly) “Bitch Tits” by teammates after gaining 15 extra pounds before the 2005 season, and showing up with bodacious man-boobs, a condition known as gynecomastia.  Not so much douche-like, as it is freaking hilarious.

  4.  Steroids.  Not only what he admitted, but what he’s alleged to have done (high school and HGH while with the Yankees…allegedly).

  3.  This creepy, slightly homoerotic picture.  I truly believe if A-Rod could bang himself, he would.

  

  2.  Supposedly went to a Dallas strip club in a New York Yankees cap.  Talk about keeping a low profile…why not wear your whole damn uniform and take BP in pervert’s row? Allegedly.

  1.  Bragged to his teammates about dating Madonna.  Granted, doing the Material Girl would be a big notch in anyone’s belt…15 years ago.  But not now, not at 50, and not when she looks like this…

  

  Keep on bragging A-Rod...she's awesome!

  Congrats A-Rod, our second Douchebag of the Week.

   

• D-Bag of the Week for 26/04/2009

  In D-bag of the Week

  

  Our inaugural douchebag of the week is…Patrick Roy, NHL goaltending legend and current QJMHL coach.

  Look, we’re not debating Patrick Roy’s greatness as a goalie. He goes down as one of the greatest goaltenders ever. Period.

  As a coach, however, he’s shown himself to be a real douchebag.

  Roy has always been a little off-center during his playing days to say the least, but his actions as a coach border on criminal.

  First there was the incident last year when his Quebec Ramparts team was getting their asses handed to them 7-1, during an on-ice brawl. Roy directed his son, goalie Jonathan Roy to skate the length of the ice and go “goon” on Chicoutimi goalie Bobby Nadeau. Nadeau wanted nothing to do with the younger Roy, but that didn’t stop Jonathan from landing some blows, before engaging in another fight with a Chicoutimi defenseman. Roy then skated off the ice giving the old “one-finger salute” to the fans.

  But Patrick Roy’s most recent transgression may be worse. During a game versus the Shawinigan Cataractes, Roy and a heckler got into it. Now I don’t condone heckling…buying a ticket doesn’t give you the right to make an asshole of yourself, no matter how much you think it’ll help your team. But Roy, being a former NHL goalie and now coach, should know better than to engage a heckler, because nothing good can ever come of it.

  Roy’s profanity-laced tirade was so bad, it made the heckler’s young daughter cry…and cry, and cry, and cry.

  Click here to see the video of Patrick Roy making a little girl cry.

  There’s no doubt the father is a major-league douche in his own right, and deserved the ejection he received, but Roy should’ve been the better man and bit his tongue…not make a little girl cry.