No doubt the final tally will be much higher when the auction finishes, which is pretty amazing considering the selling point of the ball is that it is signed by Humphries, who was recently voted the most disliked player in the NBA, and Kardashian, a not unattractive woman known for her bulbous posterior and zero talent, unless you count becoming famous for starring in a homemade porn video talent, which it very well may be.

From the Twins website…

Fans can now bid on an official Major League baseball autographed by both reality TV star Kim Kardashian and soon-to-be former husband and Minneapolis, Minnesota native Kris Humphries.

“We have as far as we know, a one-of-a-kind item – a baseball with both of their signatures which we believe is best used to raise incremental funds for the good works of the Community Fund,” said Kevin Smith, executive director of public affairs for the Twins.

The baseball up for auction was signed by the ill-fated couple prior to the Friday July 1, 2011 game at Target Field. Kris Humphries threw out a ceremonial first pitch that evening. Fans now have the opportunity to bid on this unique piece of memorabilia with proceeds benefitting the Minnesota Twins Community Fund.

Unfortunately the winner of the auction only gets to keep the ball for 72 days.

*drops mic, raises arms in victory, walks off stage*

[Minnesota Twins]

The Oakland A’s have designated their April 21st game against the Indians as Rollie Fingers Bobblehead day, and as you can tell by the picture of the real Rollie with his bobbleheaded doppelganger, it truly is a magnificent piece.  Any diehard A’s fans, Rollie Fingers fans, bobblehead collectors, or mustache aficionados will be wanting to get their hands on this beauty.

As an aside, is it just me, or does the 65-year-old Fingers’ iconic mustache not look a day over 30?  Good mustache genes, or Just For Men hair coloring?  Rollie’s a fan fave, so I’ll go with the former.

[@Athletics via The Big Lead]

I don’t have any tattoos and even I can tell that’s fake. First of all, it’s too damn shiny, and on top of that, it looks like it was done in magic marker.  Plus, if it were real, and based on what little I know of A’s pitcher Dallas Braden, Rollie Fingers would be naked, and the tattoo would be 10 times as large and on Braden’s back.

But the real proof that the ink isn’t legit is that, as Big League Stew points out, the pair were filming a commercial together this past Thursday, suggesting the temporary tattoo was part of the commercial’s guaranteed-to-be-hilarious storyline.

And if you’re wondering, yes I am going to steal this design and have it inked on my inner thigh…right next to my tattoo of a bare-chested Gene Tenace battling a Siberian tiger to the death.

[image via The Daily Rival]

The only thing sadder than watching the Mets’ failings of the past few years is watching those failings set to the music of Sarah McLachlan. The Canadian songstress’ haunting, melodic voice is almost enough to make me want to help these sadsack New York Mets by donating my hard earned money to their cause.

Notice I said almost.

I say instead of donating the money to the Mets, who will only waste it anyway, why not give all those pennies to their long suffering fans. That way they can put it to good use…like for buying some Yankees gear.

[via Hot Clicks]

Hell, I bet after seeing this video there’s a dozen or so college programs checking to see if they can squeeze another year of academic eligibility out of the highly accurate Wilson.  After seeing the dreck that passes for field goal kickers in the NCAA this year, I can’t say that I would blame them.

Video follows the jump (via Big League Stew)…

Impressive.  Chances that the video is fake are about the same as the chances that Wilson needed only one shot to nail the kick.

For this little White Sox fan, the hideous sweater came in the form of something much, much worse—a Chicago Cubs “Pillow Pet.”  For a diehard Sox fan like this young lass, getting a Cubs anything is like getting the worst Christmas gift ever, then getting punched in the face after opening it.  The only thing worse than this is actually being a Cubs fan, because instead of a few moments of crying, Cubbies fans bawl from opening day until the last pitch of the season.

Mya does little to hide her disappointment in receiving such a terrible gift, but the whole thing ends up being a prank played on her by her parents, just so they could see their daughter’s reaction.  The Cubs “Pillow Pet” is actually meant for her brother Izaiah, and in the end Mya ends up with a “Pillow Pet” repping her beloved White Sox, and Izaiah gets the Cubs one given to Mya.  Everyone’s happy, at least until baseball season starts.

This video provides me with further proof that many people have kids just for their own amusement.  I don’t know what’s more disconcerting—the prank the kid’s folks played on her on Christmas morning, toying with her emotions like that, or the fact that they let their son root for the Cubs.  Either scenario should be considered some form of mild psychological abuse, shouldn’t it?

Video follows the jump…

Once again I’m going to put this out there for any parents thinking about pulling a prank on their kids, and then posting it to YouTube for posterity sake.  Those kids you’re torturing for all the world to see will be the same kids making life altering decisions for you when you’re old and gray and unable to care for yourself, and trust me, they have long memories.

[H/t to Big League Stew]

After a horrible looking swing on strike three, the Caracas catcher turned and started jawing with umpire Dario Rivero Jr. over a disputed strike call earlier in the at-bat.  As with most player/umpire arguments, the pair were nose-to-nose, expletives and spit a flying, until Torrealba went and slapped/shoved Rivero in the face.

Video of the incident follows the jump (skip to the 0:58 second mark for the open-hand smack)…

Can’t imagine this will sit well with the Venezuelan Winter League officials.  Bumping, slapping, or shoving an umpire, no matter what level of baseball it is, is inexcusable.  Don’t know what kind of punishment Torrealba can expect, but hopefully it’s swift and fitting of such a despicable act.

[Big H/T to BBTIA]

For those of you that have never seen The Nutcracker, Mother Ginger’s look is quite the spectacle, so you can imagine what Mattingly must have looked like in a dress with a ridiculously oversized hoop skirt, blond curly wig, and more makeup than a $10 hooker.  Luckily there’s photographic evidence of the Dodgers skipper in his Mother Ginger costume, so that we can truly grasp Mattingly’s dedication to his craft.

Yamma hamma!  Props to Mattingly for having the guts to traipse on stage in an outfit like this in front of a packed crowd at the Victory Theater in Evansville.  After playing 14 years in the New York spotlight under the tyrannical George Steinbrenner, I’m guessing this was a walk in the park for Mattingly.

If you’re looking for video of Donnie Baseball’s performance, you can find it righthere.  And let me give you a little advanced warning—it’s a gas.

[H/T to Slanch Report, Tristate]

"Either that dude is peeing on my car or he's making love to the keyhole with the world's smallest dong..."

See people, this is why it doesn’t pay to be altruistic.  One minute you’re slinging drinks at a charity event put on by your boss, the next minute you’re finding some dude taking a piss on your car.  Worse still, the urinator gets peeved at you for interrupting his tinkle and takes a swing at you.  Stuff like this doesn’t happen to selfish, lazy slobs like me who have a disdain for anything that requires any time and effort in helping my fellow man.

Thankfully there are better people in this world than me, one of those being Tampa Bay Rays pitcher David Price, who offered up his time as a guest bartender for a charity event put on by manager Joe Maddon.  After the event wrapped up, Price sauntered out to the parking lot to find some guy taking a leak…on his car.

Awkward.

But it gets better, not so much for Price, but for everyone in the world who isn’t the Rays ace, because the guy shoved, then took a swing at Price because he had the audacity to interrupt his pee break.  Can’t blame him, most guys have issues with stopping midstream, all-star pitcher tapping you on the shoulder or not.

Price relied on his better judgment and didn’t retaliate when the whizzer tried punching him.  Without knowing the rest of the story I’ll assume the guy shook his wang clean after failing to connect, zipped up, and went on his way.

As for Price, he was happy how the odd confrontation played out.

“I was,” Price said, “relieved with how it turned out.”

Yep, he went there with the awful pun.  That’s why he’s pitching in the show and not opening in the Catskills for Shecky Greene.

[Tampa Bay via Slanch Report]

Not as thoughtful as his “Mom” and “Pops” tattoo, but definitely handy if Bryce Harper ever loses his wallet or other pieces of identification.  Nice bit of artwork too—simple yet classy, even if the canvas is a bit lacking in character.

Word on the street is that Jarod Saltalamacchia wanted the same type of tattoo done on his body, but his torso couldn’t handle that much ink without killing him.

[H/T to Mr. Irrelevant]