Hey, I just found a new synonym for “abuse of power.”  It’s spelled W-I-L-L-I-A-M-S.  As in Roy Williams, head coach of the men’s basketball team at North Carolina, and your newly-minted Douchebag of the Week.

If you’re wondering why such a revered and highly-respected coach such as Roy Williams is the subject of my wrath, well, I’ll tell you.

During North Carolina’s blowout win over Presbyterian, Williams had a “heckler” removed by security, with just about six minutes left to say.

What did said heckler yell to rile up Williams to the point of having him ejected?

“Don’t miss, Deon.”

Yes, that’s it.

Williams claims that the heckler was intoxicated, and hurling insults the entire game.  Obviously, the person in question denies the allegations.

And to all you Roy Williams apologists out there–yes, I understand that buying a ticket does not give you the right to do what ever you feel like, and act like a retarded monkey.  That being said, it’s a sporting event for shit’s sake–does Roy “Fucktard” Williams expect you to sit there on your hands and say nothing.

No, as long as it’s nothing disparaging about his beloved Tar Heels, then holler away.

It’s too bad William’s had to pull this stunt–in my opinion he’s gone from classy, respected, top-notch coach, to smug, ignorant, power-mad douchebag in the span of two minutes.  And while North Carolina has done nothing to penalize Williams for his act of douchebaggery, at least the media, both real and bloggers alike, have taken the UNC coach to task for his apparent lack of class.

Just imagine the reaction if Mike Krzyzewski had pulled this stunt instead of Roy Williams.

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Dirty players are commonplace in sports.  It’s just a fact of life.  But every once-in-a-while a cheap-shot prick stands above the rest.

Flozell Adams, you are that prick.

And now you’re the Douchebag of the Week.

Prick.

Adams, the Dallas Cowboys offensive lineman, is widely regarded as one of the league’s dirtiest players.  And it seems he has it in for Justin Tuck of the NY Giants.

In their week 2 matchup, Adams blatantly tripped Tuck, which caused Tuck to injure his shoulder.  For his transgression (shout out to Tiger Woods, sexaholic), Adams was fined $12,500.

Well, douchebag Adams did it again to Tuck.  Only this time, the play was essentially over, and Adams, for reasons unknown, gave Tuck a two-handed shove to the back.

Nice.

Tempers flared, obviously, and after the game, Tuck had a few choice, appropriate words to say about his good buddy Flozell.

“It just proves what kind of dirtbag [Adams] is. It takes a coward, and some more words I can’t say right here, to push a guy in the back when the play’s dead.”

I’m sure I can speak those “words I can’t say right here” that Justin Tuck wanted to say–douchebag, fucktard, jerkass, cocksucker.

Adams should expect another hefty fine from the league.

What he needs is to have his ass suspended–before he ends someone’s career.

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You gotta love college football.  Or not–what the hell do I care?

But say you watch it, let me ask you a question–if you happened to see the UCLA/USC game this past Saturday, what did you think of the ending?

Or more precisely, who was the bigger douchebag–Rick Neuheisel or Pete Carroll?

Quick recap for those that don’t know–USC, up 21-7, had just got the ball back with 54 seconds or so left to play.  QB Matt Barkley took a knee, in order to run out the clock.  At least that was the plan.

UCLA coach Neuheisel had a different plan–he called a timeout.

Seriously.

This set Pete Carroll off.  Coming out of the timeout, USC ran a play-action pass, and Barkley hit Damien Williams for a 48-yard score with 44 seconds left.  Flagrant taunting followed, causing many of the Bruins players to edge their way across the field.  A massive brawl was narrowly averted.

So which coach was the bigger douchebag in this situation?

Here’s Neuheisel’s explanation for the inexplicable timeout…

“I was trying to make them punt, and maybe if they run, we cause a fumble,” Neuheisel said. “They have their take on it, but I was trying to get the ball back. People can make their own conclusions. … I don’t blame them for doing it.”

Alrighty then.  Now for Carroll’s retort, ie. the deep ball playcall…

“It is just the heart of a competitor, just battling,” Carroll said. “We just wanted to win the game and have fun. When the moment was there, it wasn’t thinking about what [others] might be thinking. You are either competing, or you’re not.”

Well bully for you.

As for me, I can’t decide.  So they’re both being named Douchebag of the Week.

Suck on that one, boys.

I just want to say something to LeBron James (because I know he checks out this site daily)…dude, shut the fuck up and play basketball.

There, now that I got that out of my system, you’re probably wondering what James did to get me so pissed, and to get himself named Douchebag of the Week.

Well, LeBron is taking it upon himself to start a petition to have Michael Jordan’s No. 23 retired league wide.  James plans on changing his number to 6, and is urging other players in the league that currently wear No. 23 to switch jersey numbers as well.

Look, it’s not that I don’t think Jordan is one of the best, if not the best player of all time.  The point is, it’s debatable.  Well, to everyone but LeBron.  According to King James, “there would be no LeBron James, no Kobe Bryant, no Dwyane Wade if there wasn’t Michael Jordan first.”

As far as I know, only two leagues have league-wide retired numbers–the NHL retired Wayne Gretzky’s No. 99, and MLB retired the No. 42 of Jackie Robinson.  Both are understandable, both are worthy.

But not Jordan.

Sorry, but MJ was no pioneer.  And he’s already been honored, by the Bulls, who retired his number, and by the league, with his recent enshrinement into the Hall of Fame.

But say LeBron is successful, and Jordan’s No. 23 is retired league-wide.  Who’s jersey is next–Bill Russell’s No. 6 (which would mean James would need yet another new number), Magic Johnson’s No. 32, Larry Bird’s 33?

LeBron James, Douchebag of the Week, if you want to honor Jordan by changing your number, so be it.  But leave it to the David Stern and the NBA to decide about a league-wide retiring of No. 23…OK?

Anyone with any kind of working knowledge of the NFL knows what kind of owner Dan Snyder of the Washington Redskins is.

He makes Al Davis seem logical, and Jerry Jones seem reasonable.

To his credit though, his rash and sometimes asinine personnel decisions are, in his mind anyway, an attempt at improving his club.

He comes across as a little dictator though (insert Hitler joke here), but his latest stunt is just too much.

As bad as the Skins are (and man, they are bad), the fans still come out in droves…filling both the stadium, and Snyder’s greasy pocketbook.  And when fans come to games, many of them bring signs, whether to cheer their fave players on with, or express dismay with the current regime (it’s more of the latter in Washington these days).

Well, at least they used to.  Apparently, the Redskins now have a zero sign policy, which was strictly enforced at the Monday nighter against the Eagles.  My guess is that Snyder and his cronies didn’t want the fans obvious displeasuer with him, Vinny Cerrato and Jim Zorn to be plastered all across the U.S. of A.

So Snyder did the only reasonable thing…he violated the constitution of the United States.  You know, that tiny part about freedom of speech.  Of course the team had a “reasonable” excuse for banning the signs…and by reasonable, I mean completely laughable.  The Redskins are banning signs, now get this, in order to protect fans from getting injured by said signs.

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

Maybe they’ve done studies that show sign-related deaths are on the rise.  Or maybe Dan Snyder is just fucking ridiculous.

The Redskins did have a sign policy in effect, basically saying that signs deemed offensive or inappropriate would be confiscated.

Now it’s all signs…because saying hi to your hubby in Iraq is both dangerous and offensive.

This is an actual sign that Dan Steinberg fished out of the garbage outside FedEx field.  Un-fucking-believable.

For a great read on the whole Skins sign-ban fiasco (including other confiscated signs), read Steinberg’s awesome column at DC Sports Bog (thanks for the pic too).

Dan Snyder, for showing your fans, and the world, what a spiteful little prick you are, I hereby proclaim you Douchebag of the Week.

Now go fuck yourself.

This is a first…co-winners of the Douchebag of the Week award.  One for what he did, one for what he said.

And both are from the Carolina Panthers.

First there’s Dante Wesley.  The Panthers cornerback took it upon himself to try and make Carson Palmer’s prediction that someone will eventually be killed on a football field a reality this past Sunday.

By nearly decapitating Bucs PR Clifton Smith…before the ball even got there.  Here’s the vicious hit, where you clearly see three things…

1. Wesley leaves his feet and goes right for the head/throat of Smith
2. The ball doesn’t come into the frame until a good 3-4 seconds after the hit
3. Dante Wesley is a friggin’ douchebag

This is clearly one of those hits that is a clear-cut dirty tackle on Wesley’s part.  And for his idiocy, he got a one game suspension, without pay.

Here’s the vicious hit…

Smith received a concussion, and was unable to speak after the game.

Then there’s head coach John Fox, he of the uncertain future with the Panthers.  Unfortunately Fox, like a lot of coaches, was quick to defend Wesley and his dirty play.

And for that he’s a douchebag.

Look, I understand when coaches have to stick up for their guys…if they don’t it causes bad feelings and makes for an uncomfortable locker room.  But every once in a while a coach needs to go outside the norm and call out one of his own when they commit an obviously flagrant foul that almost seriously injures another player.

This was one of those times.

Instead of coming out and saying Wesley was wrong, that he deserves to be punished, that he’s a fucktard, Fox had this to say…

“I hate to see it. I hated to see it for their guy and our guy. But sometimes it happens. It’s not intentional; it’s not done maliciously. You’ve got to make a split-second decision. It’s no different than driving to work and putting your brakes on. Sometimes accidents happen.”

Are you fucking kidding me?  Wesley had a 10 yard run-up…plenty of time to make his decision.  And he chose to try and take Smith’s head off.  Accident my ass.

“I know the kid (Wesley), I know the kid’s character and I know he would never do anything intentionally like that,” Fox said. “It’s unfortunate that it happened, and I’m sure he’ll learn from it.”

Yes John Fox, it’s unfortunate.  It’s unfortunate that Wesley tried to decapitate Clifton Smith, and it’s unfortunate you had to be co-winner of the Douchebag of the Week.

Enjoy getting canned in the offseason. [Panthers.com]

No, it’s not Erin Andrews, ya friggin’ idiots.

It’s the creepy stalker the FBI arrested for the “Erin Andrews peep hole video” scandal.  Yes, Michael David Barrett of Westmont, Illinois, you are the Douchebag of the Week.

Look, I’m like the hundreds of millions of guys who, yes, would love to see the gorgeous Miss Andrews in her birthday suit…but not like this.  I was thinking more along the lines of a Playboy spread (or to a lesser extent Hustler, Swank or Shaved).  The whole peephole thing went beyond creepy, even for a horny dirtbag like me.  No one, famous or not, should be violated and exploited in that way…ever.

But now we know the son-of-a-bitch responsible for this unlawful act of privacy violation and douchebaggery.

Barrett, 47, faces federal charges of Internet stalking.  The penalty for such carries a maximum five year prison term and $250,000 fine.

And apparently Erin Andrews isn’t this piece of shit’s only victim.  Allegedly Barrett made peephole videos of other women, and posted them on the Internet.

Barrett was released on bond and ordered to wear an ankle monitoring bracelet, and ordered not to use the Internet. We can only hope this scumbag gets sent to prison, where his “peephole” will get violated…repeatedly.

You just have to feel sorry for the Cleveland Browns fans…easily some of the most rabid, educated, passionate fans in the NFL.  Or any league for that matter.

Their once-proud franchise has quickly become one of the laughing-stocks in the league, down there with the Rams and Lions.

And now their turd of a head coach is my Douchebag of the Week, not so much for one specific thing, but for a virtual cornucopia of royal screw-ups that have proven just what kind of douchetard “Mangenius” really is.

If you want to know how Mangini came to be head coach of the Browns, go check out Wikipedia.  Let’s just say his coaching record as the Jets head coach was bad…very bad.  Save for one playoff season of 10-6, Mangini finished his time in New York with a 23-26 record.  Which is why it was very surprising the Browns hired this mutt 15 minutes after the Jets jettisoned his fat ass.

In his short time at Cleveland, Mangini has been able to sink the already declining Browns franchise to new depths of suckitude, the likes of which have only been seen by the Detroit Lions and St. Louis Rams.

Here are “Mangenius” accomplishments in his short tenure as Browns coach…

• Had a mural of Cleveland Browns greats torn down in the Browns offices.
• Put the Browns rookies on a bus from Cleveland to Hartford, Connecticut to participate in a football camp.  The ride lasted 10 hours…each way.
• Fined one of his players $1700 for taking a $3 bottle of water from a hotel minibar without paying for it.
• Reports are that Mangini screwed Josh Cribbs out of an agreed-to contract renegotiation.
• The always tedious starting QB guessing game is back on, with it being announced today that Quinn is riding the pines, with Derek Anderson assuming the starting role.

Let us not forget that Mangini was involved, and fined, for his role in the Jets/Brett Favre injury reporting snafu…and the whole “Spygate” thingy, of which he was a primary figure.

A few of the Browns players have filed grievances against Hitler Mangini for the fines he assessed them.  I hope they win, and I hope the Cleveland organization wises up and gets rid of this douchebag before the franchise sinks any lower.

I know, I know…it’s been forever since I handed out the Douchebag of the Week award.  But if you haven’t figured out that I’m a lazy fucker by now, well then, allow me to introduce myself.

That being said, I’ve got to give out the award this week, only because it goes to someone truly deserving to be honored for his amazing level of doucheness.

Cubs outfielder Milton Bradley, he of the outbursts, tantrums, and downright idiotic behavioural issues, is the Douchebag of the Week, and the way he’s going, Bradley could be the first ever inductee into the Douchebag Hall of Fame (located in my basement, $5 for adults, $2 for kids.)

But let’s just focus on this season…it’s been a train wreck pretty well since day one, when the Cubs management, in an obvious crystal meth induced haze, signed the volatile Bradley to a 3-year, $30 million dollar contract last offseason.  For their reward, they got a .257 average, with 12 dingers and 40 RBIs.  Money well spent.

Add to that Bradley calling the Cubs fans racist, continuing battles with the media, and very public spats with manager Lou Piniella make signing Milton Bradley one of the worst free-agent moves ever.

But that’s all over now, as Cubs GM Jim Hendry pulled his head out of his ass long enough to suspend this piece of sh-t for the remainder of the season.  The straw that broke the camel’s back…recent comments Bradley made to the Daily Herald this past Saturday.

When asked if he enjoyed his first season in Chicago:

“Not really,” Bradley said. “It’s just not a positive environment. I need a stable, healthy, enjoyable environment. There’s too many people everywhere in your face with a microphone asking the same questions repeatedly. Everything is just bashing you. You got out there and you play harder than anybody on the field and never get credit for it. It’s just negativity.”

Stable and healthy go together with Milton Bradley like Kanye West and humility.

“And you understand why they haven’t won in 100 years here, because it’s negative. It’s what it is.  It’s everything.  It’s everybody.”

No douchebag…it’s you.

Now go f–k yourself.

First off, let me apologize for not updating the Douchebag of the Week award for last week.  Between work, kids, and my continued laziness, I just never got around to it.

But I’m back, baby!

I sense a trend starting here.  On the 14th, idiot Laker fans who thought the best way to celebrate another NBA championship was to destroy L.A. property.

This time it’s the wonderful fans of Philadelphia, best known for booing Santa Claus, and cheering a momentarily paralyzed Michael Irvin.

Classy to say the least.

This time I’m referring to fans of the Phillies, last year’s World Series winners.

Last week, Phils reliever J.C. Romero was involved in an altercation with a fan who wanted his autograph.  When Romero refused, the fan shouted “How about you get me some juice?”

Harmless right?  Until you remember Romero just got back from a 50 game suspension for a banned substance.  What did Romero do?

He choked the bitch out…kind of.

Romero allegedly grabbed the fan, Robert Eaton, by the throat.

This is where the fans come in.  While authorities sort the case out, many Phils fans weighed in on what happened.

And not surprisingly, they sided with Romero…because choking a guy out is perfectly appropriate response to an insult.

Some examples…

“Way to go, J.C. You fired up the team. The guy should keep his mouth shut.”

“The smart-[bleep] deserved it. Just because the grown man didn’t get some autographs. … Boohoo.”

“The heckler not only deserved what he got, he should have been beaten mercilessly with bats. I have no pity for him. Nobody deserves to take crap from some loser who probably makes $4.50 an hour and then goes home to a broken home with ugly children.”

Excellent.  Phillies fans ripping a dude for being a jerk. If that’s not the pot calling the kettle black.

Hypocritical…definitely.

Expected…most likely.

Worthy of being named Douchebag of the Week…absolutely!

[MLB Fanhouse]